The quiet house, the clattering brain

My house is quiet. Lily is sleeping and the boys have left for school. I need to try to keep myself engaged in other things today so I do not sit around feeling sad all day. I am sad. I am very sad. I don't want to mask it, but I don't want to wallow in it either.
I wrote the other day that I thought I needed some time to myself, and now it looks like I am going to get it this weekend. I wasn't planning on having time to myself, and in fact was really looking forward to spending my weekend with someone very special to me, but that isn't going to happen now. It's a big let-down, a huge disappointment. I feel like a bomb went off and I am left looking at a huge hole in the ground. I guess I don't have any choice but to alter my path and walk around the hole. And that is what I must do this weekend, by myself. Walk around the hole. If I ignore the hole I might fall in, but if I pay too much attention to the hole I will become obsessed with it. The hole is emptiness. I need to accept the emptiness and face what I have...a new life in a new town by myself.